Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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