you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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