I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize