I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
