Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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