it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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