Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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