Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
