You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
