capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
