I accidentally had phone sex last night
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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