He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We are two peas in an std pod
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize