So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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