Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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