I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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