Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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