Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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