you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
