You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
