he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
