Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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