Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Houston, we have a squirter
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
