Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
