when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
