ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she peed on how many people?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
