Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
