it's not cheating when I paid for it
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
