ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
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