Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
