Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
