Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
