made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Randomize
