I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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