dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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