Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
