I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
