So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
