Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
