We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
