hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
