soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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