That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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