i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
