My nipple is on Facebook.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
it's great music for shaving your balls
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
