READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
