Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
