OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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