Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
