thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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