holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
