In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
