he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
