I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Randomize
