My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
