we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Randomize
