Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize