I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
