i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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