He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
