We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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