Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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