I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just want to make out with him forever
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
