his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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