I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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