I faked an abortion last night.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I want her autograph on my taint
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize