omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
should my penis look like a turkey
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
