im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
