No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
