I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize